The Wedding has come and gone, and back to real life....

My little sister (I write with tears in my eyes), is finally a MRS! I am thrilled for her and her darling husband Zach.  I have seen only a few times (including at my own wedding), how sweetly a man looks at someone the way that Zach looked at Erin at the altar. He held the tears back the best he could but you could tell he was ready to burst.

The evening was a huge success - fabulous food provided by Cuisine Unlimited (long time family friends of ours), complete with a nitrogen  ice cream bar, dancing and, of course, cake. Erin's colors were tangerine and eggplant, and the gardens at Red Butte were in full bloom. The wedding was under the Fragrance Garden Arbor and the reception took place in the Orangerie.

Other wedding details that can't be overlooked, the bride walked down the aisle to my dad's rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," followed by the introduction to True Companion, by Marc Cohn. This song was my brother's favorite, and he always wanted to have it at his wedding. It was Erin' way of bringing him there and it was stunning.

The day of the wedding, I got some one on one time with Erin, as I had the privilege of doing the bride's hair and makeup. We kept the look simple and fresh - her dress was intricate and full of lace and ruched taffeta, so they complemented each other. She looked so beautiful, but mostly because she looked so happy. 

Before the makeover and gorgeous without makeup.... getting out our FRIENDS DVD collection to watch various wedding episodes.

 

 

After makeover, before dress, with mom and dad.

Bride & Groom.

 As with any big family occasion, this was a great excuse to get to see our out of town relatives and other friends and relatives we don't see often enough. My Aunt Nardi & Aunt Judy (Duane / Mike) flew from Des Moines and Washington to attend the festivities. This was also their first time meeting the twinnies and we had a wonderful time together.

Bottle service!

A momentous occasion to have both my aunties here, in my home, meeting my twins.

Last night BBQ with the family on my Dad's side.

Our best shot at an informal family picture. Hopefully the photographer got one where we get at least 3/5 faces looking at the camera lol.

Like a mini bride and groom.

Mom with August and cousin Erik with Sam (the bowtie boys)

Couldn't resist trying a veil on August. She loved it.

I'm sure many more pictures to come, but I'm glad that it went so well now that it's over I'm digging back into summer with  my little kiddies, realizing it is almost over and my baby is starting Kindergarten in 38 days :( Time to chip away at our summer bucket list....

It's official... we survived a whole year. Happy 1st Birthday Twinnies!

To be honest, it really hasn't been as grueling as you might think... largely due to the fact that we have had so much help from family. Moving back to Utah was without a doubt one of the best decisions we have ever made for our family. Also, to be honest, it is pretty taxing and intense - but worth every single solitary second.

Sweet new rides for their birthday!

However, I don't want to sugar coat it, raising two babies at once is challenging to say the least -- when they both need you at the same time, when you simply do not have enough hands, when there is always something that needs your attention - times TWO - you just feel like you are never enough. However, it has been incredibly joyful. The twins are more adorable every day, and Matt and I are still in disbelief that we somehow ended up with these little people in our world. I don't know why it works this way, and why we got this miracle, but I am grateful. every. single. day. 

There are times that are confusing - I can't read them and they are so upset or confused one second, then literally one second later they are absolutely joyful. Oh well! Makes for good photo-ops.

Sad to be a Southern Belle, or delighted? You decide.

August can stand unsupported very very briefly, and is desperate to walk. Sam's biggest talent remains his crab claw imitation. Both babies love people and think they are very important and, as such, should be involved in any and every conversation, social interaction, and entertaining experience. Little do they know, they ARE the entertaining experience. August's eyes are definitely going to stay blue - I'll have one blue eyed girl and one brown eyed girl (side note, Claire is CONVINCED that the Van Morrison song of the same name was literally written for her,. If we are in a restaurant or public setting and they play it, she yells loudly to all patrons "This song was actually written about me! It's for me! See? Listen! I have my own song!" Little does she know the song precedes her life by a good 42 years.)

Old man nap in the "circle of neglect" the exersaucer.

Sam still pays homage to his first nickname, "Sleepy Sam." If he misses his 10am nap or it starts a little late, he'll just take it wherever he is - we call them his "old man naps." 

They both speak a little funny language - August sounds increasingly like a Martian, and Sam uses a series of Dada and Dada-like words to say "thank you, mama, grandma, hi, etc.) August cannot be constrained - she is all over everything and everywhere at every minute. She puts her little sound and music chair up to the couch and climbs onto it... hikes up onto the fireplace to climb up onto the side chair next to it. Don't get me wrong, we have some baby proofing in place, but short of putting them in a hexagon 24 hours a day there simply isn't enough baby proofing in the world for two little minions... er... twinions.

Candidly, I never expected to have this many children. I thought one, or maybe two so that the first wouldn't be lonely. Our first hit us like a tornado in every single way (the good kind that takes you to a magical land like Oz..., but a tornado nonetheless). Then it was years in between, and now, I am incredibly grateful for that time. Claire is 5 1/2 years old now (heaven forbid you rob her of that extra 6 months...) and therefore is independent enough that I can be tied down with the babies a lot. 

Twinnies watch eagerly as Claire has a bath. They want in - BAD.

Unexpected added bonus??? The babies ADORE her and think she walks on water. She can make them laugh like no one else can. I don't get it. They don't speak English yet, and as far as I know, Claire's only language IS English, so what gives? I feel a little hurt that I can't delight them like she can, but I'll get over it. I know they love me when their sweaty little arms reach out from their crib for me after a nap.. or when they scream "NaNa" at me.. (or DaDa at me... I've just got to let that one go).

My life is so different than it was one year ago- I'm not working in my fast paced "office job", but I'm working my ever-lovin-you-know-what-off every single day. I still get tastes of my professional event planning life - there are endless occasions that arise and we are preparing for my sister's wedding next month which keeps it all screaming back to me, in a good crazy way. I do freelance hair and makeup for special occasions, and still get to play piano for events occasionally which makes me incredibly happy.

Babies playing with their new sand and water table!

This is also the first time in her entire life (since her 12 weeks after birth), that Claire has stayed home with me. I took her out of full time preschool for the summer so we can have a normal family stay-home summer... with - GULP - three kids at home. So far, so good... but it's only been a week. A really really exhausting week. I think we'll settle into a routine and it definitely helps having my mom out of school for the summer for some extra support. We also get playdates with our adorable McCleary cousins, Wendy Wednesdays, and time with all of the grandparents. We really couldn't be luckier in the sense that we are surrounded by love and people who want to be a part of our lives in a nurturing, helpful, fun way.

August plays peek-a-boo with anything she can get her hands on; her outfits, napkins, burp cloths, her hands.

To give a comparison of the babies' growth to Claire at the same age, Claire was a full 2 inches taller than August and 2 pounds, 1 ounce heavier than she was.  She was exactly 50th percentile for height and weight at that age. Sam & August are hovering at 4-5 percentile for height and 40-45% for weight. Sam weighs a healthy  20.5 pounds and is 28.2 inches tall. His head circumference is 17.5 inches (his height at birth....weird.)

August is my smallest baby at 12 months, weighing 19 pounds, 3 ounces. She is also my shortest at 27.5 inches tall.  Her head circumference is just slightly smaller than Sam's: 17.2 inches. However, the GIRL CAN EAT! She loves to feed herself and isn't grossed out by the "3rd foods" that have substantial chunks in them. Sometimes I just stop feeding her because it's been like 45 minutes and I think "you can't possibly be hungry still..." my smallest, scrappiest child.  These are mundane facts for most readers, but it is interesting to the person that grew them, so you get the pleasure of reading it anyway.

Claire's New Pet and Big Girl Horse Bedroom

Last Day of School

Our crazy little munchkin has graduated from Pre-K, and Matt decided it was time for her to have a little pet. She's been begging for a fish forever, so we lugged the family to the pet store (Fish 4 U - Matt insists on supporting local businesses whenever possible). We decided to get a betta - the best beginner fish, so we're told.

There were several shelves of traditional bettas - deep reds, burgundy, bluish looking little fish that stared at us, wondering why we were, in turn, staring at them. Then there was this magic "top shelf" with extra pretty fish. I asked the lady at the store if those were bettas too, and she gladly replied "Oh, yes! Those are Rosetail bettas. They are more rare, but they are definitely great beginner pets, too." So I fell in love with one that looked like it was wearing a ball gown (how jealous am I that its skin actually looks like a dress fit for the Governor's Ball). I showed Claire... "Look! You can have one of these if you want instead." Matt gave me a dirty look - I didn't understand why.

Rosetail Betta

Well, if you're a drinker, you are familiar with the term "top shelf." Let me assure it you it does not only apply to fine tequilas, vodkas, cognacs, etc., it also applies to the most mundane household pet there is. Yes, the fish I had caused Claire to fall irrevocably in love with was, indeed, "top shelf," literally and figuratively.

After MUCH deliberation on Claire's part as to what would be the best house for "Luna" we had all the necessary equipment. We also got a snail, aptly named Sheldon, and set up the aquarium. Luna's new home is nothing short of fabulous, and as long as we can remember to feed her, and no one tries to take her out and play with her, she should be a part of our family for a few years.

Luna's proud Mama

To celebrate the start of Claire's first summer at home (not in preschool, daycare or any other kind of childcare, now that I am staying home with the kids), we had a big campout! Claire learned how to build a fire from her little Eagle Scout Daddy, we had s'mores (which claire called "smurths") and we slept outside in a tent. Well, some of us did - Sam rolled over on August and her arm fell asleep and she freaked out, so I took the twins inside and we stayed in the rest of the night. 

Carefully adding kindling to the fire

Our giant tent that Matt bought when we were only a family of three -- he said we'd fill it up eventually. I blame him for witchcraft and that's how we got twins.

It's hard to believe that all the time has passed since we moved here 1 1/2 years ago - my mom was desperately helping us research preschools because I was trying to focus on moving to another state, managing my job at the time, and being pregnant and very sick with the twinnies. Here is a picture of Claire on her first day and last day at Mount Olympus Presbyterian Preschool. She insisted on having her picture taken with the vacuum in the "home living" center, so for fun we took her back there for another picture at the end of her last day.

Claire left this note on the "Thankful Tree" outside the sanctuary in her school / church.It says "I'm sorry that I am leaving but remember me." She wrote it herself and I think it is so precious and also hilarious and a little egotistical. Shocker.

 

 

 

 

Before... bookshelf overflowing and a big mess!

Last but not least, we got Claire out of the house overnight for a sleepover with Grandma Becky and we had Grandma Tam wrangle the twins so Matt and I could re-do her room to have a big girl "horse" room. She is obsessed with horses (it's a genetic trait, my mom is convinced), and it is nurtured regularly by Grandma Tam. Claire's never had a real bed set or anything so it was time to give her a fun summer room and amp things up for Kindergarten. She was THRILLED when she came home to see the surprise. She said "Mom, I didn't know I could have a quilt!" (so "little match girl / street urchin" like I wouldn't give my child a blanket or something....)

After - a horse quilt, farm scene on the wall and a reading nook (she's learning how to read this summer!)

She's thrilled beyond words to have a full length mirror, in which to admire herself on a regular basis - not sure if that was a good idea on our part or not.. oh well. She got a bigger bookcase that can fit all of her treasures and books and we gave her old one to the twins since they don't have one.

Horses, horses, everywhere, and a portrait hat Grandma Tam painted of Claire last Christmas.

I made her a jewelry board because all of her necklaces were in a giant unruly ball and she couldn't properly accessorize.   Oh, the horror.

Her prized collection of Breyer horses

The last month of infancy

As we approach the twins' first birthday (far too quickly, I might add), I'd like to share the ways that they still seem like babies, and the ways that they are growing.

Mr. Sam:

He still doesn't crawl in a traditional sense - he does a wiggly worm, caterpillar-like movement all around the house. Every so often, he changes direction by pivoting on his ample belly. Any opportunity he has to stand (supported), he uses to dance. All the world is a ride to him. He grunts while he crawls and I call him my little caveman. Perhaps one of the funniest things he does is use his hands like pinchers - but not when he's trying to pick something up. He just pinches his little crab claws in the air during his free time - like some kind of primal warning (except he's the least threatening creature on the planet).

Doing the worm

He still has only 3 teeth: two on bottom, and one on top. The one on top is really growing well, and becoming more prominent each day. As a result, he looks more and more like a hillbilly as time passes. Hopefully his other teeth will accompany the lone soldier soon.

My favorite thing about Sam is that he is gentle. When he gets upset he sobs. When he is tired, he still rubs his eyes. If you leave the room, his heart breaks. He is calm and happy and peaceful.

Miss August:

August is more full of spice than sugar, although she knows how to "up the saccharine factor" when necessary to make someone fall in love with her. She is such a charismatic little person and loves people.  She's not walking yet, but she is as close as you can possibly get. She climbs and crawls on everything and we are running out of ways to contain her in one spot when needed. She has a gravely little voice and often speaks in tongues. If you're a Tool fan, it reminds me of the first 30 seconds of "Rosetta Stoned" from the album 10,000 Days, when Maynard is experimenting with some "creative vocal delivery" as critics called it. Basically it creeps me out.

Laughing at her sister who is in the bathtub

August is so alert and involved with everything around her that she can't eat or drink a bottle if someone enters the room, if the TV is on, if a book is open or if we have company over. She has decided she should be included in absolutely everything. The funniest thing she does is throw her bottle when she's done drinking it, not unlike a careless teenager crumpling a beer can and throwing it on the side of the road. She just chucks it as fast as she can when it is no longer of use to her. 

The biggest difference between the babies is how they express their discontent. Sam bawls, and August gets plain furious. They have started communicating with each other verbally, through a variety of "da-das" since that's the only word they have in common. August says "mama" every now and again, and has said "go" and apparently said "good" but we haven't heard it in person.

The other thing they have in common is spitting. Meal times often conclude with spitting wars. That's how we know they are full, or maybe just bored with our company. So, we swallow our pride, and wipe the peas and green beans off of ourselves and leave them to it.

This past month we celebrated Easter in St. George with our friends from California (The Fishers). They hadn't met the twins yet, and Claire was thrilled to be reunited with her friend Penny. We hiked and swam and hunted for eggs.

Family hike in Snow Canyon

Playing at the town center water park.

Claire reunited with her BFF Penny

I think August could fit inside her own Easter basket if we tried.

Alert and happy to be out.

Sleepy Sam couldn't make it through the whole hike without a nap.

Claire also had her last dance recital at her current school. She only has three weeks left of Pre-K... I absolutely cannot believe it. She is so excited for summer and we have started making lots of plans. If the weather is good we will have a campout in the backyard on her last night of school. She still makes the babies laugh harder than anyone else can. She also makes us laugh harder than most people can. Just the other day, I told her I wasn't feeling well, and she asked me if I was teething. She continuously dances and sings anywhere and everywhere she can and loves to braid her own hair and the hair of everyone around her. It's probably a good thing we don't have a dog anymore.

Last but not least, I think it's safe to say the babies are FINALLY sleeping through the night. They go down around 7:30 and get up at 6:45 for a bottle, then go back to sleep until 8:30 or so. They have one good morning nap around 10:00am, and the afternoon nap is iffy... Sam would do it, but August won't and she fights and screams and wakes him up. Neither of my girls have turned out to be big nappers... they can't be bothered. There is just too much to be done.

Crossing without Permission

I came across this old journal entry today and felt the need to share it. 

Take what you will...

March 8, 2010

Today as I drove home from picking my precious Claire up from Daycare, I saw, for the first time, an animal dying.  A small mallard duck like the kind that swim in our idyllic little pond at our condo, was gravely injured and trying with all its might to cross a busy road to get to safety on the grass on the other side. With every movement he made trying to traverse bustling Trabuco Street, feathers fell out of him in a panic and with defeat. It was apparent that one or more of his limbs were no longer functioning and his head was down toward the ground the entire time. He could not look up and see what was coming toward him, only where he was going if he continued to go down. 

What was less upsetting and more touching was the companion duck that began to cross the street in this duck’s trail. It was trying to evade traffic on the busy road to save its companion, all the while not being hit by cars.

I physically stopped my bright red Barbie car in the middle of this road, not caring what traffic violations would occur or how I might inconvenience other people. I stopped. I stopped. I stopped.

I stopped because I was sad.

I stopped because I had never seen someone so helpless die in front of my eyes.

I stopped because I didn’t want to be responsible for killing it.

I stopped because I was contemplating if it was my duty to kill it.

As I watched the heart-and-wing-broken pair attempt to cross to safety, I delicately drove around the situation and continued toward home with my precious baby girl in the back seat. I was upset and I don’t want to shield her from that, but I don’t want her to have to see animals that are hurting yet. It is too soon; yet, another reason I decided I should not kill the duck with the power of my car in a merciful attempt to set him free.

We drove farther down the road and I delicately watched the frenetic scene in my rearview mirrror come to a stop…. A final stop. The stop that happens on its own terms, regardless of location, time of day, or audience. This small, defenseless little bird laid its broken neck on the asphalt and that’s where it would leave its body while it ventured to where I am so hopeful there is more.

I don’t know what type of connection animals truly have, but I give them the benefit of the doubt that they are more connected than we believe. I feel bad for his friend, or mate, or brother, that tried to help save him but couldn’t. I hope that because he’s an animal he doesn’t have a sense of object constancy and he’ll simply reproduce that aspect of his life and fly away and move on.

But all I know, is that I grieved that anonymous, ill-placed wild bird today, and my daughter and I gave it pause en route to our family home where we tell each other we love each other, we learn to do new tricks, we build each other’s self-esteem, we tell each other that we are pretty and kind and that we will do anything for each other.  We will love each other forever. No matter what.

Claire is invaluable to me - she is beautiful, and she is real. I am proud that I have been able to accept her as real and sincerely allow myself to embrace it and enjoy it, instead of stepping out of it like the 3^rd person (reference - Elliott’s death…)

I am grateful and must learn to embrace the feeling of safety like a warm blanket when I am freezing with worry.

Twins at Ten Months

Both twins are officially crawling (or dragging themselves around the house via dead man's crawl) and it is keeping us on our toes! August lives to explore every nook and cranny of the house, and is very proud that she can stand up holding onto something. Sam can finally move forward (instead of propelling himself backward on his belly) and he seems quite happy about that too. 

Check me out - I'm standing up!

August is sprouting two more teeth for a grand total of six, and Sammy is still happy with his pearly duo and no others in sight. We brushed the twins' teeth for the first time - more for the novelty than anything. I don't think their dental health is an enormous concern just yet. 

"Brushing" their teeth - really just sucking on the toothbrushes and scrubbing the couch with them.

The babies celebrated their first St. Patrick's Day (yet another great opportunity for me to play dress-up with them).  They bear such a strong resemblance to real Leprechauns, I'm glad they weren't taken back to their colony when they came to leave treats at our house.

The weather has been gorgeous so we've been taking the babies out to play on the grass. Auntie Erin made sure they had their tiny sunglasses, although August couldn't be bothered to keep them on. Maybe she didn't think they matched her outfit...

                  

They have started to play together, more and more, and August is definitely the aggressive one. She takes toys from Sam and climbs on top of him. Half of the time he laughs and doesn't seem to mind, and the other half, he cries like he just watched his puppy get hit by a car or something. HUGE tears -- it is gut wrenching. He is definitely a very sensitive, gentle soul. August is a flirty little imp that can take care of herself - even when she's crying, it's hard for us not to laugh. 

The first time we found August standing up in her crib, screaming to be released from her Pottery Barn prison... she remained incarcerated until we took pictures, as usual.

Typical wrestling match which August instigated.

Last but not least, the babies took their first road trip to St. George. They loved floating around in the pool in the loungers that Grandma Becky got for them. Sammy especially loves water...we affectionately call him The Splashmaster at home because he just goes crazy in the tub. 

On the Claire front, she remains obsessed with horses. Grandma Tam took her to a horse class where they got to groom a horse, ride one, and learn about how to take care of the horses and their stalls.  She adores the twins and likes to help, even it's wiping their noses. She's quick to tell me every little move they make, hoping to be the one to discover one of their many "firsts." Her ownership of them is adorable. She is her best self with her brother and sister, and no one can make the twins smile and laugh like Crazy Claire can.